In Spirit of the Disciplines," Dallas Willard asks, "Why is it that we look upon our salvation as a moment that began our religious life instead of the daily life we receive from God?" pg. 29

Christ learned obedience and we must too. This implies it won't just happen, we have to be attentive and make choices to obey.

...we can become like Christ by doing one thing--by following Him in the overall style of life He chose for Himself. pg. IX

The secret of the easy yoke, then, is to learn from Christ how to live our total lives, how to invest all our time and our energies of mind and body as he did. pg. 9

...spiritual growth and vitality stem from what we actually do with our lives, from the habits we form, and from the character that results. pg. 21

So what am I doing to learn to live daily as He did?

On Killing Sin

To effectively protect our inner sanctuary, we must not wait until sin has already begun to take over, but instead, learn to immediately and aggressively respond to every hint of temptation with what I like to call the “sudden death” technique.

Sudden Death

The only effective way to deal with temptation toward sin is to immediately and completely kill it, giving it absolutely no opportunity to take hold of our mind or heart in the first place.
…temptation quickly suffocates and dies the moment we refuse to give it life within us.
Sin must be cut off at the source. There always comes that crucial moment of decision—and that’s when we must choose whether to allow temptation to live or die. Pg. 134-5

Feminine Mystique

I've read several things lately that give definitions of the feminine mystique from a Christian perspective, but this one is the best. It comes from the book Authentic Beauty by Leslie Ludy.

Feminine Mystique—the steady, unyielding strength and confidence that flows from knowing our Prince intimately and protecting our relationship with Him at all costs. Pg. 161

Some of her insights are:

We must learn to walk through our days with Him, not merely trying to represent Him. Pg. 206

To understand our Prince in His fullness, we must learn to meditate on His Word and make His Truth an inseparable part of who we are as we study it, carefully examine it on multiple levels, mull it over in our minds and hearts, diligently pray about it, and practically apply it to our lives. Pg. 214

Primary focus of life can be determined by the thoughts we have each night as we drift off to sleep. Pg. 203

God is in control:)

I found a wonderful book a few weeks ago called Whisper of His Grace by David L. McKenna, (you can get it on Amazon used books for .08 plus postage).
Not everyone loves Job as I do, but any that have struggled with questions and pain usually find their way to this book and find truth, encouragement, and comfort in our amazing God.

On page 36 of McKenna's book he says:

"Evil may appear to be having its day, but God sets the time and draws the boundaries."

"Whether in riches or poverty, sickness of health, calm of stress, comfort or persecution, it is absolutely essential to remember that we live under the protection of God and are never abandoned by the presence of God."

Who am I following?

More from "the Bravehearted Gospel"

They call us Christians; and all that really means is that we are supposed to follow Christ.
The question is...are we? pg. 97

He goes on the say that the more beautiful and stunning we are to this world the more disagreeable we are in the eyes of Heaven,or, the more lovely we are to heaven, the more disagreeable we will be in the eyes of the world.

I wonder sometimes which set of eyes I am seeking to please.

Braveheartedness

I am being challenged by Eric Ludy in his book "The Bravehearted Gospel."

On page 100 he says,
"For instance, the gospel has been reduced to a message merely about forgiveness while the idea of regeneration and transformation seems almost totally forgotten.

Grace has become simple a gigantic hug from God and is no longer the muscle of God brought to earth to aid the weakness of men and to give them strength.

Faith has morphed into this bizarre idea of "honest doubt" and has lost its essence of rock-solid unwavering confidence in the ability of God to perform that which He promises.

He speaks of our need to remember that we are called to live for Christ and to should be fighting for the truth of the Gospel. I was reminded of a little friend of mine, Sydney, one day while wearing one of her many princess dresses, she picked up her play sword and said "I'm a princess fighter!" I think this is who we, well at least the female of us, should remember that we are.

Grace

I picked up a new book at the library recently, not sure what I'd think of it, and found I really enjoyed it.
It's called "Finding Grace, a Memoir" by Donna VanLiere.
She was molested before she started Kindergarten and never told anyone until she married. She couldn't understand why God didn't protect her and felt shame over it. The story is of her discovery of God's grace through her life and realizing that we can't earn and don't deserve His grace, it's a free gift from Him.

Some things I found thought provoking or encouraging were:

"God sometimes does His work with gentle drizzle, not storms." Spoken by John Newton in the film Amazing Grace.

God was busy carving out and arranging things in my life but I was too frustrated to detect any of His work. pg. 69

I was exhausted from roaming the desert ... and each day I opened the Bible with a heated attitude that said, "Show me something." pg. 91
A quote on the same page from Charles Dickens said, "Nothing is discovered without God's intention and assistance."

On page 92 she realizes that she was looking for the "Cliff Notes" version of Faith and that just won't work. She talked about Jacob's wrestling match and gives a very descriptive image of what it must have been like. I'd never visualized it quite so realistically before.

The emptiness says: Come to me. I'll never betray you. I know you by name. I know the plans I have for you. I ignored that restlessness, and unconvinced that God really did have a purpose for me, I continued to drive my own plan. After all, isn't that easier and more manageable than discerning the mystery of the soul? pg. 115

At some point we throw up our hands but then what? It seems that we either continue to fight and wrestle, or we relinquish the plan as we've always known it in order to discover the Creator's dream for our life. When we admit our helplessness in driving our own dream and acknowledge God's divine power and goodness, we open the door to grace. pg. 120

"The great act of faith is when man decides that he is not God." Supreme Court justice Oliver Wendell Holmes.

In the disappointment and frustration of infertility I was beginning to comprehend a God that shattered my childish perceptions. pg. 135

...I wonder why we deny ourselves the grace of God? For the first time in years I began to doubt my thirty-plus years of self-made reasoning. pg. 142

Lessons in the Struggle

I recently read Losing God by Matt Rogers. It is a book about his four year struggle with depression and he did a good job of sharing the reality of the struggle. Having recently spent so much time in Romans I found it interesting that much of his struggle was with Romans nine and the doctrine of predestination. He found some good friends who came along side of him in the struggle and he is now a pastor with a very real understanding of the struggles of his people.

He shared a couple of pretty profound thoughts:

"...one of the most important lessons of the dark night, that peace with God, as with love for Him, is more than a feeling...it is a condition that we who have believed find ourselves in: the war is over."

"Emotions are a gift, but I learned in the dark night that we must be careful of the conclusions we let them draw for us."

"You have no idea five or ten years down the road how you will view the circumstances you are under right now. Hang in there! Do not give up. god is able to walk you through the darkness, and He is worth going through it."

and he included a great quote from Tozer on the mystery of election:

"God will not hold us responsible to understand the mysteries of election, predestination and the divine sovereignty. the best and safest way to deal with these truths is to raise our eyes to God and in deepest reverence say, 'O Lord, Thou knowest.' Those things belong to the deep and mysterious profound of God's omniscience. Prying into them may make theologians, but it will never make saints.

My Beloved

Today, in my reading through the Bible, I came to the Song of Solomon. I know there is controversy about this book--is it picturing an actual love relationship between a man and woman or is it a picture of God's love for us. I think it's both and has much to teach us about both. It is a wonderful picture of love. Today I read it as a picture of God's love for me and was so blessed.

"I am my Beloved's and He is mine." What a wonderful encouragement this is. he loves me/us with an intensity that I can't relate to, I can just be in awe of it. He thinks of me as beautiful, because of what Christ did for me at the cross. Me, beautiful! Amazing!

And the picture of my beloved is awesome.

My reading in the New Testament was Jude today and how encouraging the final verses of that little book were, in light of the picture of His love.

Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling,
and to make you stand in His presence of His glory blameless with great joy,
to the only God our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord,
be glory, Majesty, dominion, and authority
before all time, and now, and forever.

Amen and Amen.

Oh how I long for the day when we will be presented to Jesus as His beloved bride.

Even so come Lord Jesus!

My Hero

I recently attended a "celebration of life" for my dad who died in August. I knew that it would be a bit awkward as I would be meeting many people who had my dad involved in their lives for the 25 years that he chose to not be involved with my brother, sister, and me. It was hard to hear of what a wonderful grandpa he was and not grieve over the fact that he wasn't that grandpa to my kids. It was a reminder of all of the special events of my life that he chose to not be part of.

He was described as their "hero." Can a hero be so good and so bad at the same time? In reality isn't that all of us? He had been my hero as a small child, I was a daddy's girl. But that changed when I turned 13 and he walked out of my life. I had to face the reality then that he didn't love me as I thought he had and it was a hard reality. The last 22 years he has been part of my life again and I am very thankful for that. I have gotten to know who he really was. He was a man who did the best that he was able to do with how he was prepared for life.

God drew me to Himself that year and became my Father and Mother and I am so grateful for that. He is and will always truly be my hero. He promised to never leave me or forsake me, that I have an eternal home with Him, life as He designed it. His Son willingly set aside His glory and took on flesh to reveal God, the Father, to us and to die to free us from our slavery to our sin, and He rose again in victory. He chose this sacrifice out of His great love and justice.

This is what a true hero is and why only Jesus can fit the discription. Men will fail us, they will leave us but God never will and He proved it at the cross.

Who is your hero? Who do you look up to? I pray that it will be Jesus, my Savior. If you haven't read the book of John lately I'd encourage you to read it. I guarentee that you will be encouraged and humbled.

Crazy Thinking

Edward Welch in When People are Big and God is Small says that when our interpretation of our past takes precedence over God's interpretation of it we are open to crazy thoughts that lead to sinful actions.

I don't think this applies only to our past. How often am I responding to my interpretation of my present instead of seeking God's interpretation of it? Am I looking for what He is doing and how He sees things, or just trying to make life work?

Am I standing on Christ, the mighty rock, or the other ground that is really sinking sand?

Blessing

I recently read "The Truth Comes Out" the story of my hearts transformation, but Nancy Heche. It's a well written and thought provoking book that will make you look at the way you see others, and even see our own self-righteousness, ugly as it is.

She came to a wonderful understanding of what it means to bless others after reading Acts 3:26
God, having raised up His servant (Jesus), sent Him to you first, to bless you by turning every one of you from your wickedness.

Upon looking up the meaning of "to bless," she found this definition:
To ask God to interfere, to take action in ones life to bring them to the desired relationship with Him so that they are fully satisfied.

This blessing became a small obsession with her, and I am praying that it will be with me also. What a difference it would make in our relationships if we chose to bless in this way those we love and those we have less than love for.

Imprisoned in Iran

How would I respond to being imprisoned without knowing why? With being verbally and physically abused and left in a cell by myself, still without knowing why? This is so foreign to us in America. We have rights after all. This couldn't happen here. But in another country our rights mean nothing. Dan Baumann found this out in January 1997.

He and a South African friend were living Turkmenistan and, with YWAM, working with the Turkman people. They had prayed about an opportunity to go into Iran and connect with the Trukman people there, some of them being believers, and see how they could help them and work with them. the Lord opened the doors and gave them some good contacts so they left for a two week "checking it out" trip.

Dan had duel citizenship with the US and Switzerland and always traveled with his Swiss passport in that area, since they weren't too fond of Americans.

As they were leaving the country they ran the Iranian officials confiscated their passports and told them they would have to go to Tehran to recover them. They took someone from the South Africa Embassy with them to recover the passports, however the embassy representative had to return to the embassy and the Iranians interrogated and arrested them.

Most of the book is about his experience in prison. He is very honest about his frustration, anger, fear, lack of faith, despair and of God's faithfulness and grace to him.

This book will remind us that God is in control, even when we don't get it, and that His plan is much bigger than we can ever imagine. He experienced comfort, peace, and encouragement when these things didn't seem possible. He saw how he was used by God as the waterer of seeds that had been planted 20 years before by Christians imprisoned during the overthrow of the government of the Shaw. He heard one of the guards telling the other guards the truth of the gospel that he had heard and witnessed from those prisoners and was now seeing in "this American."

This book blessed and encouraged me. I think it had more impact because it was someone from "my world" (he even grew up in So. Cal like I did) facing things that we think we will never face
and seeing a faithful and mighty God in action.

Soul Connection

A friend recently gave me Gordon MacDonald's book, "The Life God Blesses." I haven't read much of his work, I always thought he wrote mostly to pastors and church leaders, but I am enjoying this book. He is an honest, wise and godly man.
He shares some reflections from Bertrand Russell as his wife was dying and I find the thoughts lingering in my mind.

"... the sense of the solitude of each human soul suddenly overwhelmed me...the loneliness of the human soul is unendurable; nothing can penetrate it except the highest intensity of the sort of love that religious teachers have preached; whatever does not spring from this motive is harmful, or at best useless...in human relations one should penetrate to the core of loneliness in each person and speak to that."

What a difference it would make in our lives and relationships if we related to others like this.

I had breakfast with a friend recently and she started out by asking me how I was doing. Not with the usual casualness associated with this question. I could tell she wanted to know how I was truly doing. I felt encouraged by her interest and humbled by how often I get together just to talk and don't take time to see how my friend is truly doing.

Since God, the highest intensity of love available, has poured out His love in my heart, through the Holy Spirit I have this love to offer others, and yet so often just don't.

I pray that this truth will change me and the way I relate to all that I come in contact with.

Ann Judson of Burma

I recently read this book and am encouraged and humbled by this woman. This isn't a page turner kind of book, it's not "exciting," however it gives an amazing picture of a couple, from the woman's perspective mostly, who truly gave all to go to an unknown country and take the gospel.
They were among a small group of missionaries who were the first to be sent out from America. They left knowing that they would most likely never return. Adoniram's letter to Ann's father, asking for her hand asked if he'd be willing to:

"...consent to part with his daughter... to see her no more in this world;whether you can consent to her departure for a heathen land, and her subjection to the hardships of sufferings of a missionary life...the fatal influence of the southern climate of India, to every kind of want and distress, to degradation, insult, persecution, and perhaps a violent death..."

Most of these things came true in her life, however, she did see her homeland once in response to serious illness and the need of complete rest. Her love for God, her husband, and the people God had called them to serve is so evident that it can't help but humble us.

The book is Ann Judson of Burma by Sharon James.

God's Holy Zeal!

Tozer says of God, "He pursues His labors always in a fullness of holy zeal."

What a picture of God. As I thought on it I realized that I often picture God as I would picture myself when I am multitasking. I am busy trying to get everything done and usually a bit distracted, not zealous. I tend to get a bit stressed too. But God isn't like that. He is the ultimate "multitakser" and it doesn't faze Him. He knows what is going on everywhere and is working out His will in everything with a holy zeal. No distraction, stress, concern--just zeal.

I looked up zeal and it is: passionate devotion to or interest in a cause or subject.

How wonderful to picture God at work this way in our world and in our lives. How different it might make my life if I continualy live with this awareness of God.

With praise to our holy, loving and passionate Father. Amen.

Crazy Love

I'm reading a book by Francis Chen called Crazy Love. It is challenging, good, and convicting, and I am enjoying it.

In the second chapter he talks about stress and worry and says:

"Basically these two behaviors communicate that it's ok to sin and not trust God because the stuff in my life is somehow exceptional. Both worry and stress reek of arrogance. They declare our tendency to forget that we've been forgiven, that our lives here are brief, that we are headed to a place where we won't be lonely, afraid, or hurt ever again, and that in the context of God's strength, our problems are small, indeed.
Why are we so quick to forget God? Who do we think we are?"

A little later in the chapter he says, "Frankly, we need to get over ourselves."

I would encourage you to read this book and go to www.crazylovebook.com and look at the awe factor video.

We have an awesome God!!

Anticipation

I am going through a book by Tricia McCary Rhodes that is about meditating on the Names of Jesus. I just read about Jesus, our Bridegroom, and was struck by how little I anticipate the wedding feast spoken of in the NT.

Wedding's in the NT times weren't the big ordeals they are now, they didn't have the stress or activity that we see now. During the betrothal period the groom prepared the home for he and his bride and when all was ready he came for the wedding. The bride spent the time preparing and making things ready for for when he came for her. It was a time of great anticipation and joy. Something we can't really relate to today. She didn't always know when he would come, so she had to be ready at all times.

I realize that I don't live with that joyful anticipation of His return for me. I know He's coming, but I am so distracted with the "daily's" of life that I don't anticipate His return. I would like to start living with a joyful anticipation of this. I'm sure it will effect how I live daily and how I deal with the reality of living in this broken world.

Even so come Lord Jesus, my Bridegroom!

We Are Sisters

I just finished a book called “Daughters of Hope,” by Kay Marshall Strom and Michele Rickett. It was written by two women who traveled around the world to talk to women who have suffered for their faith. The stories are amazing and in their concluding section they shared an interaction that they had with some women in India who was asking about America.

Their questions were:
Do you ever go to bed hungry because you’re a Christian?
Did you ever have your house taken away?
Did you ever lose a job because you were a Christian?
Do people throw rocks at you?
Has anyone ever thrown you in the fire?

Her answer was always no and then she explained that those things don’t happen in America because it’s against the law.

“The women stared uncomprehendingly. Then one said, ‘but if it doesn’t cost you anything, how do you in America know what it means to be a Christian.’ As I was thinking about the answer, the first woman asked, ‘If you in America did have to suffer, would you still be Christians.’”

They mentioned to them that many would not, and those who do love the Lord pray for the faith to stand faithful to Him in all things. And the women then solemnly promised to pray for us in America.

How wonderful and amazing that they are praying for us.

I'd encourage you to get this book and check out the website SistersInService.org

The Shack

I read it recently and didn't expect to enjoy it. I'd read several reviews of the false doctrine in it and was ready to condemn it. I will say that he does have some unique and I believe un-Biblical teaching and if you are going to get your doctrine from a novel don't read this book.

However, he does a good job of dealing with some of the misconceptions people have about God and the Trinity.
He makes it clear that the Trinity is complete and joyful within itself and does not need us.

He brings out:
- man's obvious and sometimes subtle idea of earning relationship with God, and makes it clear that that just doesn't work
- man's arrogance, and foolishness, in thinking he understands and can judge God
- that God, the Father, is love, not just Jesus

A few quotes that I particularly liked:

Mack -"I sort of feel obliged to go in and talk to Him..."
Jesus - "...don't go because you feel obligated. ...Go because it's what you want to do."

Sophia (Wisdom) - ...He chose the way of the cross where mercy triumphs over justice because of love. Would you instead prefer He'd chosen justice for everyone? Do you want justice 'Dear Judge'?"

One of my favorites, which I can't find to quote, is when Mack said that he just didn't see how anything could justify the evil done to his child and "Papa" responded that we aren't about justifying what happens, but about being redemptive.

and the final quote that I will share is:

" Mack, just because I work incredible good out of unspeakable tragedies doesn't mean I orchestrate the tragedies. Don't ever assume that my using something means that I caused it or that I need it to accomplish my purposes. That will only lead you to false notions about me. Grace doesn't depend on suffering to exist, but where there is suffering you will find grace in many facets and colors."

So get your doctrine and theology from the Bible, and if you want a book that does a pretty good job of depicting a God we can relate to, and be challenged by. Read this book. I will add that I would skip the chapter "Festival of Friends." I'm not sure what that was all about.

Jesus in Beijing

I found this book at one of my favorite places, Half Price Books. It's the third book I've read in the last few years on the Church in China and I am exciting about what God is doing. the Heavenly Man has become a popular book but "Back To Jerusalem" is one I would recommend also.
China seemed so lost to me as I was growing in the faith. No outside contact, no missionaries, so Communist. But now we are learning about the Church in China and it is a great testimony of the grace of our wonderful God. We in the West should be humbled by the faith, endurance, and boldness of this Church.
It's so easy to become focused on ourselves and what our world looks like. I am so thankful to be able to hear about the wonders of what God is doing throughout our world.
Praise to our God, the Alpha and Omega!

Therefore...

John Piper, in a sermon on June 6, 2004,talks about our needing to live a "therefore" life. We need to live according to the truths of who we are in Christ. Instead of asking "What's wrong?" about something we should be asking how does that fit with who I am in Christ. What a great perspective.

"When Paul says, 'I appeal to you therefore, brothers . . .' he is saying: The life I am calling you to live (in Romans 12-16) is built on something. It doesn’t come out of nowhere. It has roots. It has a foundation. Christian living has roots. It has foundation. It has causes and grounds and reasons. And that is no small thing!
For the next five chapters Paul will call us to live a certain way as Christians. And with this word 'therefore' he is saying: The foundation we build our lives on is the foundation laid in Romans 1-11. Paul is turning now from doctrine to practice. He is turning from theology to ethics. From what is true about God and Christ and salvation to what we should do—what we therefore should do because of Romans 1-11. Because of all the truth about God and sin and Christ and the cross and the Spirit and faith and justification—because of all that we have seen in Romans 1-11, therefore we are to build our practical lives on this. Paul moves from foundation to application with the word “therefore.” Christian acting and feeling and speaking are not rootless. They have foundation. They are built on something. Paul spent 11 chapters, and we spent six years, laying the foundation for the building of Romans 12-16. If we miss this connection, we miss everything."

Foolishness and Wisdom

Today as I read in Numbers, Proverbs, and Matthew, they interestingly played off each other. In Numbers I read that the "rabble" were complaining about the good things they had to eat in Egypt. They were tired of manna.

In Matthew, the Pharisees were trying, again, to trick Jesus into saying something they could arrest him for, but of course He didn't. He was much to wise for them. And they, as usual, were more interested in protecting their position and image than paying attention to who this was.

In Proverbs 19:8 it says that "he who gets wisdom loves his own soul."

I find it interesting that I had examples in both testaments of men who were to foolish to love their own souls. Instead they chose to seek outward comfort.

How often do I do that? I am too often content with comfort instead of loving my soul enough to feed it with the wisdom that will truly satisfy it. It reminds me of C.S. Lewis' quote about making mud pies in the slum instead of enjoying a vacation on the seashore. We are too easily amused.

Oh, how I pray that God will not allow me to settle for comfort instead of nourishing my soul.

Our Journey

I'm listening to John Piper's sermons on Romans as I work on the study of Romans that I am writing, and came across this encouragement from a sermon preached on 4/21/02:

Picture this life as a journey on your way to receive a spectacular inheritance. It will protect you from idolatry and make all your burdens lighter, and quiet all your murmurings.

Here's the way John Newton put it:
Suppose a man was going to New York to take possession of a large estate, and his carriage should break down a mile before he got to the city, which obliged him to walk the rest of the way; what a fool we should think him, if we saw him ringing his hands, and blubbering out all the remaining mile, "My carriage is broken! My carriage is broken!" (Richard Cecil, Memoirs of the Rev. John Newton, in The Works of the Rev. John Newton, Vol. 1 (Edinburgh: The Banner of Truth Trust, 1985), p. 108.)

No condemnation in Christ!!

Rom. 8:1
There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus.

This is an important verse to have “hidden in your hearts.” We are so good at listening to the voice of condemnation. There is even a rumor going around that somehow living in condemnation and wallowing in shame is somehow pleasing to God, or that a constant, low-grade guilt will somehow promote holiness and spiritual maturity. Guess who started these!

What do you hear?
“Do you really think God will forgive you…again?”
“God must be unhappy with me.”
“How can you forgive yourself?”

These are not messages from the Spirit!

C.J. Mahaney, in Living the Cross Centered Life, said:
“Our sin is reality, but the death and resurrection of Jesus for our sin is a greater reality.”

So which reality am I going to live by?

He, Mahaney, has a great way to beat condemnation:

“Confess and believe in Christ’s atonement.”

It’s pretty simple and a great way to get us get past our guilt and shame. There is nothing that we have, or could, do that will undo His atonement for us.

He talks about “talking truth” to ourselves instead of “listening” to the lies. His example was very practical. Late one Saturday night as he was putting the finishing touches on a sermon for the next day, he spilled coffee on his keyboard. He lost the computer, and of course all of his notes. He got angry at God, for letting it happen, and at himself for his clumsiness and through a little fit. He chose, instead of continuing in the anger and getting mad about the anger, to talk truth to himself. He said “Your sin of anger has been atoned for by Another. Jesus died for that sin. Jesus, the One who passed every test, who was tempted in every way but never sinned. He stood in your place and He was punished in your place. God has forgiven you and He’s going to help you prepare and preach that sermon—not because you’re sinless, but because He is merciful.”

I frequently share Piper’s quote, “God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him.” We can’t be satisfied in Him when we are nursing guilt, shame, or condemnation. We must, as Mahaney points out, believe in His atonement and our righteousness before Him, because of it.

So I encourage you to enjoy His gift of atonement and spend time praising Him for the freedom it gives us. We don’t deserve it, but His love provided it.

New Faith

Heaven Without Her by Kitty Foth-Regner is a book I found recently at our local library. It's a memoir of "a desperate daughter's search for the heart of her mother's faith. I wasn't sure what to expect but thoroughly enjoyed it.

Kitty was 47 when her mother died and the story starts on the day of her mother's death. Kitty grew up in a wonderful loving home and felt valued and cherished, but she rejected her families faith. Her final rejection was when her father died while she was in college. She wanted nothing to do with a God that would allow such hurt.

Kitty became a feminist and atheist and very successful in her career. She was happy with her life until her mother's death loomed. She loved her mother and didn't want to face that she would never see her again. All of a sudden it became very important to her to find out if the faith of her family was true.

This story is her journey to truth. It is exciting to see her perseverance in the search and commitment to truth, not just what would make her feel better. She found the faith of her mother and loved the new life it provided.

A couple of examples of the change in her new life are:

"... a dramatic reduction in that fundamental fear situations which once sent me into a panic barely ruffle me know. It's almost like He's turned me into an entirely new creature."

In speaking of the absence of the anger that had been such a reality in her life, she said:

"Later I would read in Phil. 4 about 'the peace of God, that passes all understanding.' It was like that: peace that I hadn't felt since I was a little kid, before I knew the heartbreaks and fears and humiliations that can happen in this world. The sort of peace that you feel when you know someone much bigger than you is in total control, loves you to pieces, and will take care of you always."

I finished this book feeling thankful for my God who is in control and, amazingly, love me to pieces, and will take care of me.

Thank you Kitty for your new faith and it's encouragement to me.

Ponderings from Os

I recently read Long Journey Home by Os Guinness. It was very good and gave me lots to think about. It is written to the seeking "thinker," who is looking for truth. A few quotes that I have enjoyed pondering are:

"Love in action is a harsh and dreadful thing compared with love in dreams." This is a line from the Brothers Karamazov.

The God whom Jesus shows on the cross in one who defeats evil by letting it do its very worst to Him and then overcoming it.

By all means love, by all means desire, but consider carefully what you love and what you desire. We're incomplete in ourselves so we desire whatever we think is beckoning to complete us.

Speaking of our "quest" for God, "The secret of the quest lies not in our brilliance but in His grace."

Redeemed!!!

I've been teaching Galatians on Sunday mornings and in studying this week in chapter 3 I was reminded of the following songs which I haven't thought of our heard in awhile. It has been good to be reminded of them and to find myself singing them throughout the day. What a wonderful blessing and joy our redemption is, and how easily we get caught up in "life" and forget this truth.

Redeemed, how I love to proclaim it
Redeemed by the blood of the Lamb.
Redeemed by His infinite mercy,
His child and forever I am.

Redeemed! Redeemed!
Redeemed by the blood of the Lamb.
Redeemed! Redeemed!
His child and forever I am.



I will sing of my Redeemer
and His wondrous love to me;
On the cruel cross He suffered
from the curse to set me free.

It's been awhile

We just got back from Florida for a week and a Caribbean cruise for a week. It was just right for me, mostly in the 8o's and not too humid. I enjoyed it very much. We swam in the wonderful Caribbean sea and I loved it.
I had to laugh though as they were vary concerned about a coming cold front, it was going to be in the 70's :)
We came home to cold and even some snow! Is this really spring? I think the season is a bit confused.

I got to do lots of reading while we were away and I read some great books. Outrageous Mercy by William Farley is definitely one of my new favorites. It focuses on the centrality of the Cross to our lives and what the Cross reveals about God. It was very timely to be reading it now since I am writing a Bible study on Romans.

An Artists' Wisdom

A gentleman left his sketchbook at church last week. I had to look through it to get an idea of who it belonged to. He is an incredible artist and I enjoyed his work, he also has a good sense of humor and some wisdom too. I found this and had to write it down. Unfortunately I don't remember his name so I can't give him credit for it.

Know what you do well.
Listen to criticism, whether it's chiseled, rasped, or gently buffed.
Rough edges aren't bad, but most people don't enjoy touching them.

Good words to think on.

It's All About Him

First God. God is the subject of life. God is foundational for living. If we don’t have a sense of the primacy of God, we will never get it right, get life right, get our lives right. Not God at the margins; not God as an option; not God on the weekends. God at center and circumference; God first and last; God, God, God.

This is from the intro to Genesis in the Message. I think it says it all.

A Bold Faith

We were in Psalm 18 this week in our study and I love the picture of our powerful God in it. His passion for His people is evident.

Catherine Martin said, "Make good use of your God. Gain full advantage by pleading with Him. Tell Him your troubles. Search His promises, and then petition Him with holy boldness, for this is the surest and the fastest way to find relief."

This is a picture of a bold faith and I am encouraged by it.

Don't Fear What God is Doing

Nancy Guthrie wrote "Holding on to Hope". It's the story of Their hope in God during the short life of their daughter, Hope. She was born with Zellwager Syndrome and not given more than six months to live. Nancy used Job as her reference for their journey.

It's a good book to remind us of the hope we have in God, in any circumstance, to walk with us through it. To be reminded that He understands our pain, grief, and struggles with belief.

They chose not to ask for miraculous healing, but instead with boldness and passion and persistence to pray:

"God, would you please accomplish your will? Would you give me a willing heart to embrace your plan and your purpose? Would you mold me into a vessel that you can use to accomplish what you have in mind?" and then, perhaps, we could add a tiny P.S. that says, "If that includes healing, we will be grateful."

What a difference from how believers usually pray. What a difference it would make in our lives if we approched God with this request instead of "Lord, make me better",
"let the test be benign," etc. I type up prayer requests at church and these are more of what I see than "Lord, work out your will." We, myself included, are so focused on feeling better that we forget that God often chooses to use our weakness to show His strength and for Him to be glorified.


The Guthries took steps to have no other children, this syndrome is genetic and after one child with it there is more chance of another one, however, God had other plans. Their son, Gabriel, survived just six months. They knew he would be born with the syndrome and knew this was God's gift to them. They named him Gabriel because they believed that he "like the angel, Gabriel, is sent from God, and protected by God. We will not be surpirsed if he has heavenly messages for us to hear, if we will listen. And significantly, whenever Gabriel, appeared in the Bible, he reassured his stunned audience: 'Don't be afraid!' "

What a message for us.

I am His Beloved! Amazing!

Why is it so hard for some of us to trust in God's love. Didn't the cross show us the extent of His love?
I have been encouraged by Brennan Manning this week on His love.

He quotes Marjory Kemp, who lived 400 years ago:
"More pleasing to me than all your prayers, sacrifices, and good words is that you would believe that I love you."

Towards the end of the book, The Signature of Jesus, he says:
"I know all your thoughts. I hear all your words. I see all of your actions. And I love you. Do not judge yourself. Do not condemn yourself. Do not reject yourself. Let my love touch the most hidden corners of your heart and reveal to you your beauty, a beauty that you have lost sight of."

I've been reading in Ps. 139 this week and the above quote reinforces what I have been seeing in that Psalm. It is amazing to know that He loves me. It's easy to focus on my weakness and failure and beat myself up about it. But that's me focusing on me, not on God. One more quote speaks to this,

"...my attention must be on Jesus, not on myself. To adore is to be drawn away from my own preoccupations into the presence of Jesus. It means letting go of what I want, desire, or have planned, and fully trusting Jesus and His love." Henry Nouwen

We are told to die to ourselves and if we truly understand and trust in God's love for us this would be a natural thing to do. Oh, Lord, teach me to trust your love and let that me enough for me.

O, to be an awestruck apprentice....

"...the realm of resurrection where all things can be made new because of the unfathomable depths of the heart of the loving God who dreams of a better world and enters into it to make the dream come true."

"We come, neither as masters of all the secrets of the universe nor as blind gropers after some shred of truth and enlightenment, but rather as awestruck apprentices who have been given enough light to continue the journey with confidence and conviction."

Some final words of encouragement from William C. Frey in "The Dance of Hope." I've enjoyed this book and the reminder of God's creative and amazing love for His creation.

I often go through my day without being aware of what God is doing, and His presence. How much I miss out on by being so focused on the little piece of the picture that is my daily life. I need to continually remind myself that there is a much bigger picture and be amazed at God's work in it all.

What an awesome, loving, sovereign God we have!

Forgiveness and Reconciliation

On Christmas Eve I finished "The Bishop of Rwanda." This was a very hard book to read. It told the story of the genocide of Rwanda, the history, the reasons, and the reality of it. I kept reading because I knew that the end of the book would tell of what God is doing in Rwanda today. It didn't make it easier to read of the atrocities that went on, of the neighbors killing neighbors, even children.

Knowing what went on during the genocide makes the forgiveness and reconciliation of this country amazing, and something that only God could have worked. One paragraph describes well the struggle and reality of it.

"For a woman to forgive the person who killed her son does not take away from who her son was. It does not make her son less important. Forgiving something does not make the forgiven act less horrible, but id does break the power that act holds over you. The truth is that those who don't forgive are dying from their unforgiveness. The bitterness eats them up. When you forgive, you are healthier and more alive."

to forgive and live side by side with those who violently murdered your family is only possible by the grace of God. To accept forgiveness for performing such atrocities and not be destroyed by guilt or cold-heartedness is only possible through the grace of God.

Their are still those in Rwanda that choose not to forgive or repent, and they are trying to continue the evil of the genocide. However, the nation is seeking forgiveness and reconciliation and has broken the power of the evil. They are looking to God, the sovereign God of creation not a man-made God, and they are doing truly miraculous things.

I would encourage you to find the time to read this book and be encouraged by God. His presence in the midst of evil and His grace and love that transcends evil.

What a truly wondrous God He is.

What captures you?

"People whose attention has been captured by the beauty of Christ find little appeal in the glamour of this world." Sam Storms "Pleasures Evermore"

I would change glamour to attractions, I'm not always seduced by glamorous things, but I am very attracted by things of this world.

As a young mom in a Bible study I was admonished by one of the other moms. We had been discussing how much we were looking forward to watching our kids grow up and marry and have kids of there own, and we were hoping that the Lord wouldn't return before that happened. She looked at us in astonishment and said "I can't believe you want your kids to grow up and face the pain of this world rather than be in Heaven with the Lord."

I guiltily confessed my shortsightedness to the Lord and asked Him to help me see the world through His eyes, not mine. Unfortunately I am too easily distracted and "captured" by things in this world. I must continually ask Him to reveal to me what I need to let go of so that I can delight in Him alone.

God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him.

Most important, Love God

Loving God is more important than being right.

Penelope J Stokes said this in her book "Faith: The Substance of Things Unseen."

Just before this quote she talks about our struggles to make right choices and concludes that the actual choices may not be as crucial as the focus of our heart. Being a person who hates to make decisions this is very encouraging. She shares a story from a television game show that makes a great illustration of this.

"The show was based on competition between dogs... household pets that contestants had brought to the program. Part of the challenge presented to an exuberant two-year-old Irish setter was the running of a maze--through tunnels and water hazards, down blind alleys and past a dish of dog food--encouraged only be the voice commands of his owner, who was hidden behind a screen at the end of the run.
The dog, confused by the insistent voice of his owner and frustrated by the dead end before him, finally just gave up and hurdled the barrier. He avoided the whole problem by making up his own rules. With tail wagging and tongue flopping, he dashed into his master's arms and gave the man a sloppy dog-kiss, then sat down, looking immensely pleased with himself. he lost the competition, of course, but he got where he was going.

Sometimes I think we might be better off to adopt the "Irish setter" approach to spiritual journeying:
Leap over the maze and get back to the master.

Does it matter so much, after all, that we find the most direct route to our supposed destination? Isn't the real purpose to walk in love and trust with the One who has called us out?

Life in the Spirit is not a contes to see who can finish first, of fastest, or with the fewest diversions. It is not a labyrinth of wrong choices with a multitude of dead ends and only one right way to go.

Having to be right is a terrible burden."

I'm not advocating doing whatever we want. We must listen to Scripture, the Spirit, and good counsel,but we may still make choices that make the journey harder. God won't be surprised by our choices, and He won't leave us on our own. He's right there beside us guiding us as Phil. 1:6 says:

For I am confident of this very thing, that He that began a good work in you will continue it until the day of the Lord.

What a God we have!

James 4:11

James 4:11 says "do not speak against your one another brethren." I don't know why this hit me this time in reading it. I know I've read it many times before but this time the Lord reminded me of many conversations in which I spoke of a brother or sister in less than positive ways. I spoke truth and was concerned for them to know truth, but I wasn't speaking to them.

I looked up some references to this verse and saw in II Cor. 12:20 Paul's concern that he would find in the people:
strife, jealousy,angry tempers, disputes,slanders,gossip,arrogance,disturbances

Could my words cause such things?

...and in James 5:9 Do not complain, brethren, against one another, so that you yourselves may not be judged; behold, the Judge is standing right at the door.

Complain? That sounds so wrong, and yet that is what I have been guilty of. Yes, I pray for the person and ask God to speak to them, but I don't always stop there.
...or is my complaint actually against God?

...and then I looked up 11-12 in the Message and saw:

Don't bad-mouth each other, friends. It's God's Word, his Message, his Royal Rule, that takes a beating in that kind of talk. You're supposed to be honoring the Message, not writing graffiti all over it. God is in charge of deciding human destiny. Who do you think you are to meddle in the destiny of others?

Speaking against another somehow doesn't sound as bad as bad-mouthing someone.

I don't think I've ever thought of my words as having been against God's Word, Message and Royal Rule, yet they are.

It's something most of us do without thinking much about it. I wonder what would happen if we stopped and silently prayed for the person instead of speaking of them.

In Phil., Paul exhorts the Believers to "conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the Gospel."

I pray that I will take this to heart in the manner of my words and ask anyone who knows me to call me on it when you hear me speaking in a way "unworthy of the Gospel" in regards to a brother or sister.

A Driscoll thought

I was listening to a sermon by Mark Driscoll and he made a statement that I thought was very good.

For those who don't know the Lord, this life is all the heaven they will experience. For those who do, this life is all the hell we will experience.
(this is a paraphrase, since my mind doesn't remember work perfect)

Rom. 8:18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present world are not worthy to be compared to the glory that is to be revealed in us.

His Lovingkindness is Everlasting

I am going though a book called "The Soul at Rest" subtitled A Journey into Contemplative Prayer, by Tricia McCary Rhodes.

Today's "assignment" was to read and pray through Ps. 136 and then write my own Ps. 136. This was a very good way to spend my morning and let to a good time of worship. I won't bore you with my Psalm, but would encourage you to do the same thing.

He is the God of all, the great I AM, and
His lovingkindness is everlasting!

Love

"If you see your brother in fault, be patient with him, pray for him, try to help him, be sorry for him, instead of feeling it is something that is hurting you. See it as something that is hurting him terrible and doing him great harm and robbing him of so much joy in his Christian life.
That is what love means—that you somehow detach yourself from the problem and do not think of it in terms of that which is hurting you, but look upon it as Christ did, and have compassion for that person, take hold of him, love him out of it."
The Love of God, studies in I John by Martin Lloyd-Jones

I found this quote while studying Phil. 2:1-11. How different our churches and families would be if we believed this and practiced it.

Christ in me, yes!

Jesus not only teaches us Christian life; He creates it in our souls by the action of His Spirit. Our life in Him is not a matter of mere ethical goodwill. It is not a mere moral perfection. It is an entirely new spiritual reality, an inner transformation. Thomas Merton

United to Christ—new creation! By the indwelling Spirit God begins to unleash in us the same power that brought the universe into being.

Rebirth is not simply a change of religious parties, but a radical reordering of our whole understanding of life, the world, and our place in it.

These are a few quotes I found in "The Dance of Hope" by William C. Frey. They have given me much to think about.

I found the following a bit mind-bending too:

He shares a story of a particularly discouraging time in his life when someone called and asked him, "Do you believe in the resurrection?" Of course he does, it's what his faith is based on. Again she asked him, "Do you believe in the resurrection?" Again he assured her he did. And then she had the gall to ask him again! He shouted "I BELIEVE IN THE RESURRECTION OF JESUS CHRIST FROM THE DEAD!" And something about speaking it so forcefully caused him to realize the importance of it in his life and he has never been the same since, in a good way.

I believe in the resurrection, but do I daily live like I believe it?

Blessings

Last week at this time I was enjoying the visit with my daughter and anticipating a normal week,but God had other plans, as He often does. My mom had stoke symptoms on Thursday, so I had the paramedics check her out. They said she'd had a TIA but was find and I should call the doctor in the morning. I went to work and called the doctor and left a message and waited, and waited, and waited. Then mom's home called and said she couldn't hold her fork at lunch, so I went and got her and took her to the ER. They thought it was a stroke, but took lots of tests and found out it was bleeding in her brain from a fall 6 weeks ago. We sat around on Saturday and waited to hear what they were going to do and at 5:00 the neurosurgeon came in and said they were going to drill into her brain to remove the blood. Mom wasn't even anxious. She listened to the risks and said "lets just do it, I'm not getting any younger."
Sunday she had brain surgery and Monday morning they sent her home! I am amazed at how quickly this all took place.
Mom had many people praying for her through all of this and I am sure that her calm was the result of all of the prayer. She is a classic worrier and it's not like her to be so calm about something so major.
Tuesday Owen, the pastor that leads her Sunday School class, came to visit with her and prayed with her to receive the Lord! I knew this would come at some time because Lillian, a prayer warrior at our church, had claimed mom for the Lord. I was pretty amazed at how quickly it all occurred.
In one week my mom had surgery on her brain and became a new creature in Christ. My how our God works :)

Jenny, my daughter, shared a great story of God's amazing work too. A friend of hers from So. Cal was shopping with her unbelieving mom. They were at a shoe store and the salesman was talking about heaven and mentioned how great it was going to be and said to Jenny's friend, "aren't you excited about heaven." She responded that she was but her mother hadn't made the decision that would put her there. He asked her mom why and she said she was close. He asked what it would take for her to decide and she wasn't sure. He followed them out of the store and got on his knees and begged her to pray with him and she did!
She is in the Word and growing and her daughter is overjoyed.

What a blessing.

Jonathan Edwards

I do enjoy reading and especially biographies. I found one recently on Jonathan Edwards and looked forward to getting into it. It wasn't quite what I had expected. It was long and very dry. I tried to follow what the author seemed to think was very interesting, but I got lost in it all. I finally started perusing through to find what I thought would be interesting and ended by reading the "Coda:thinking through Edwards.
I found in this section the following statements:

"To do good is thus to participate in that which defines God."

"This is the end for which man was created: quite simply, to love, to have charity for all things.... All the rest--the envy, the selfishness, the contention that roils one's life--disappears when one exercises this Christian charity."

I am glad I found these treasures, and I am especially glad that I didn't read through the whole book to find them.

I like the idea of the good that I do is participating with God. I had never thought of it that way before. I do good sometimes because it is the thing to do. I am trying to do it out of a heart of love for God, but don't always succeed. I will remember from now on that I have the privilege of participating in what God is doing when I do good.

I am preparing for lessons on I Phil. 2:1-11 and I Cor. 13, so both of these quotes are well timed.

Now if anyone knows of a good, readable, biography of Jonathan Edwards please let me know.

Joy and Glory

I seem to be coming across many things lately that speak of God's delight in being God. I am rereading "The Pleasures of God" because of this. It's a good book to help keep me focused on the fact that "It's not about me!"

Last night I read something that blessed me so much from Tricia McCary Rhodes book "Intimate Intercession."

"Some theologians suggest that joy within the Godhead bubbled up and over, until one day--the Lord exploded with creative energy. First, He formed a universe in which He could put His glory--the essence of His character, attributes, and ways--on display. then came the crown of creation--men and women who, because they were made in His own image, would be able to experience an intimate union with Him, enjoying the glorious mystery hitherto known only by the three-in-one God.

If you or I could travel today outside this life and world and planets and galaxies and every created thing, I believe we would find beyond the pale this exquisite tale of Trinitarian joy, one glimpse of which would flood our hearts with unspeakable yearning. Why? Because we would know instinctively that we were made to be a part of this--that nothing else we've ever experienced could possibly compare. It would seem, perhaps, that we had come home at last.

But the world we live in is a dry and weary land where human beings are haunted by hunger for something outside their reach. Souls once branded with the image of Christ now bear an earthly one. A people destined for glory hide in the shadows of sin, ever turning to lesser gods...

When Jesus redeems us for Himself by His blood, a miracle of rebirth takes place, enabling us to reclaim that which we were always meant to possess--the capacity to revel in and reflect the glory of God. Drawing us into the holy circle of triune joy, God calls us to fulfill our destiny as glory-bearers whose beams will one day cover the face of the earth."

And now to go on with my daily life, trying to remember who I really am and what my real purpose is. May I remember this the next time I get upset about traffic or someone who is rude to me...


"God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him!" Piper

I am teaching "A Heart that Hopes in God" in the spring, and looking forward to it. The lessons will be focused on the Psalms, but there is so much more in Scripture that helps us remember to keep our hope in God, and we will be looking at some of those too. I was reading some thoughts from Henry Nowen today on the spiritual discipline of quietness before God and he said:

"In solitude we come to know the Spirit who has already been given to us. the pains and struggles we enc outer in our solitude thus become the way to hope, because our hope is not based on something that will happen after our sufferings are over, but on the real presence of God's healing Spirit in the midst of these sufferings."

What wisdom and comfort!

Lord, help me to always hope in you, no matter what things look like around me.

Radical or Comfortable.......

I recently read a book by Brian "Head" Welsh, the former lead guitarist for Korn. I didn't really know of Korn, but wanted to hear how God had drawn this man to Himself. I do love to here God's creative means of doing this.

At 13, Brian was a "rocker" and an insecure young man, not popular and quite lost. A boy in his school befriended him and they hung out together. He liked this guy and his family and it didn't bother him that they talked so much about Christ. The kids mom laid out salvation to him one day and he couldn't get it out of his mind. That night he tried doing his normal stuff, but God was dealing with him. He prayed to Christ, but told no one and went on with his life.

He became the successful rock star he had always wanted to be, and was empty and miserable. The first part of the book shows the depravity of his life and lifestyle, I scanned that part and saw a miserable young man who wanted more and had a sensitive heart. I'm sure no one that listened to his music would be aware of that.
God kept bringing Christians into his life and he was seeking, but resisting, until the day he heard his precious, innocent, 5 year old daughter sing-songing the vulgar words to one of his songs. He new then that he couldn't continue to raise her in that lifestyle.

He began seeking in earnest and finally surrendered to Christ. He pretty quickly quit Korn, even though he had been encouraged by a Christian mentor to maybe stay with them and try to get them to sing more positive songs. I found this interesting, and a bit typical. It sounds good, but it is a compromise. We Western Christians seem good at compromising. He wanted to do something radical that he felt God was leading him to do and was encouraged to consider less.

I wonder if that is why we do not see much of God's power in our churches in the West. Are we compromising or are we willing to be radical? We are quite comfortable here and I've seen many Believer's make choices based on what will allow them to maintain their comfortable lifestyle, not what God might want. I've heard Believers criticise others for choosing to do something that seems foolish and unwise. And I've seen the criticisers continue on in their comfortable faith, while the radical foolish ones go on to see God do some radical amazing things.We don't see much of that in the church today, maybe that's because we are just to comfortable.

Getting back to Mr. Welsh. He now speaks in tongues, he has friends who tell him things that are ahead for him, and they come true, God has used dreams to speak to him. He also reads and studies scripture and it was scripture, Phil 4:13, that gave him the final victory over drugs. He has wrestled through discouragement and Believing God when he doesn't "feel" His presence. He has been willing to give up all for God and and I am thankful for that. He is young in the faith and has much growth ahead of him, but I pray that in his growth he never grows out of his willingness to radically follow Christ.

Am I too comfortable? What will I be willing to give up? Lord, I want to be radically committed to You, not comfortably committed to You.

I believe, help my unbelief

Sometimes I am so focused on Me that I forget the big picture. Kay Arthur, in "My Savior, My Friend" mentions that the disciples Were sorrowing because Jesus was telling them that they were leaving. Because of this sorrow they weren't hearing/understanding what He was saying or remembering what He had said in the past.
She brought up Jesus' words that "unless a grain of wheat fall to the ground..." and mentioned that they were so focused on the grain of wheat that they couldn't hear the message. At this time preceding His death, when He was telling them things to encourage them and give them hope, they were only hearing that He was leaving.

It got me wondering how often I do this. I focus on my part and what I think God is doing that I forget the big picture of all that He is doing. I get discouraged because of how things seem and forget His promises.

He has promised to be with me forever, He has promised I am forgiven, He has promised to continue His work in me, He is my hope, my joy, my life. He is God and there is no other. He is truth, righteousness, love and just.

The disciples knew all of this and yet they were discouraged and confused, they didn't understand what He was saying in John 14-16. They could only focus on the fact that He was leaving them.

I am reminded of David's words, Why are you downcast O, my soul. Trust in God, and ask the Spirit to help me trust when I can't see or understand.

Eternally Known

This morning the ladies in my Abigail class and I were looking at John 15:12-17 and talking about the incredible things spoken of there. One of which is that we were chosen by God. This reminded me of Eph. 1, I was chosen in Him before the foundation of the world, I am eternally known. This always amazes me, and today it reminded me of the song by Caedman's Call, Before There Was Time. I am so encouraged by this Before there was time


There were visions in Your mind
There was death in the fall of mankind
But there was life in salvation's design

And before there were days
There were nights I could not see Your face
But the night could not keep me from grace
When You came and took my place

So I cry holy only begotten Son of God
Ancient of Days
I cry holy only begotten Son of God
And sing the praises
Of the One who saved me
And the promises He made

Before there was time
You counted the hairs on my head
You knew all the words I've said
And You purchased me back from the dead

Before I was made
You searched me and knew my ways
You numbered all my days
And You set forth the steps I would take

You saved me, You raised me
You saved me, You pulled me from the grave

Perspective for the journey

My Lord, teach me how to walk through the ways of time and yet breathe the air of eternity. May the breezes from the hills of God blow down the vale, and in their inspiration may I find my strength!
John Henry Jowett - Yet Another Day

I read this recently and was impressed by it. We seem to spend more time in the valley's then on the mountain tops. It can get lonely and discouraging there. We need to look for "the breezes from the hills of God" when we are treading the valley's.

What does it mean to "breathe the air of eternity"? I'd like to spend my time figuring that out instead of complaining about the aches and pains of the journey.

I'm reminded of Piper's oft quoted phrase, "God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him". I believe this satisfaction comes from looking for the breezes He sends and enjoying them and praising Him for them. And for remembering our future, not focusing on our present.

After all, "It's not about us".

Curiosity...

Most of us tend, by nature, to be curious creatures. I don't think much about this, but was challenged by Gary Thomas in "Seeking the Face of God" that our/my curiosity isn't always helpful. He mentions that we don't always need to know all the details and that hit me.

When someone tells me something what do I do? I ask for more info. I may have good reasons for this. The info may be important, but often it's just to satisfy my curiosity. God knows the details and when I bring things before Him I can trust Him to know the truth and to know what needs to be done. My "details" may not be the truth, they are someones perception of the truth, but none of us knows the complete truth.

He also mentions that our minds are full of so much information that we find it hard to be quiet and listen to God without distractions. Many of the information is random and there because or the media around us and many are things we've filled our minds with because of our curiosity. Some of the information is good and valuable, but much is unnecessary clutter.

This has caused me to think more about what I am filling my mind with and my "need" for more details when I'm told something. Sometimes the details are important, but often they are not. I am praying for the wisdom to discern this.

More stories...

A woman who is now very involved with orphans and abandoned children had a very different life before Christ revealed Himself to her.
She and her husband drank and fought, they were well known in their building. Her children watched Bible cartoons on TV and asked her to by "the Book". She went into town one day to buy Vodka and found a table of Christian books and on Bible. She wanted it but the lady said it had been promised to someone else. She'd have to wait an see if the other woman came back for it. She waited two hours and shared her story with the woman and the woman decided that she needed the Bible and gave it to her.
She read from it to her children that night and after they went to bed she kept reading. She was convicted of her need for Christ's forgivness and received Christ and her children and husband did also. Today he is a pastor.

A pastors wife had a Believing grandmother and parents who didn't believe in God. She believed in Him and at 13 looked for a church to attend. The first church rejected her because she wasn't Russian, she was Korean. At the next church she was told to wear a head covering if she came back and then she found a new church started by Korean missionaries. She continued to attend this church and came to Christ there.

Her husband thanks his grandmother for getting him to church so that he could hear about His Savior. She had an empty feeling and began searching to fill it. She found the same Korean church mentioned above and received Christ. She tried to get her grandson to come, but he resisted. She started going on Wed. nights and asked him to come to walk her home. He began getting there early and listening to the message and eventually heard the truth and came to faith. He is now the pastor of that church.

A young translater came to Christ through a missionary couple that she was translating for. She is planing to go to Spain this sumer for a short term mission, if she finds they are serious about the mission and it's not just a vacation. She speaks Russian, English, very well, and spanish.

A youth pastor is a third generation Christian. His father was imprisoned for his faith as a newlywed, for a year and a half. His uncle spent 20 years in prison for his faith. He remembers attending secret meetings and the fear and mistrust people had. He grew up with the faith, but was very angry until attending the Bible College. There he began to understand his faith and grew in real relationship with Christ, and met his wife, who is a wonderful blessing in his life. He has nine brothers and sisters and they are all involved in ministry.

A church intern and his wife. He came to Christ and in confessing his sin, confessed to his wife about a short affair he had had. She left and moved to Moscow. The Lord appeared to her one night and told her to go back to her husband. She packed her bags and got on the train. During her trip she got a text message from her husband telling her that if they stay apart it will destroy both of them. He had been awake, crying and praying for her to return. Sometime that year she sensed the Lord telling her to come to Him. She wrestled with it and submitted. They have both gone through the Bible College and serve together.

A college student and translater came to Christ after seeing the change in her mom after she received Christ.

These stories encourage me so much and seeing how God is using these people is great. It is hard for them, they still face problems with authorities and don't earn much but they love the Lord and what He has called them to. It is so great for them to get together for the Aluni conferences. It is the only vacation many of them have and it is the only time they get to have fellowship with one another.

Stories from the United States of Russia

We were in Russia recently. Tim taught 4 times a day and was quite tired. I, on the other hand, got to visit with people and I heard some wonderful testimonies that I want to share. I'm not giving names because it still isn't safe in some areas to be known Christians.

A pastor -
He was interested in God and cut verses out of the newspaper whenever he found them for his daughter. Some friends invited his wife to a Bible study and she and his daughter started attending regularly. One Sunday his wife was sick and hid daughter cried, crocodile tears he said, for him to take her, so of course he did. When he got there it was all women so he stood against the back. A man came in and called him brother, this confused him, he wasn't his brother. He attended for a year before he gave his life to Christ and he and his wife were baptized together.

A pastor -
His mother was a Believer, but he wasn't interested. He was in a gang and happy with his life. One day, however, he was looking for jazz music on the radio and heard a Christian program. He continued to listen and was convicted and repented. At 15 he was arrested for listening to the radio, they thought it was Radio Free America, and he spent two years in prison. He would have spent 10 if he had been an adult. When he got out people would stand on his steps to see if he was listening again.

A musician -
This man, an atheist, was invited to a Christian concert by evangelists on the street. They prayed with him and he thought that was the end of it. But the day of the concert he had nothing else to do so he went. He went for the three days and heard the answers to his specific problem with the Bible. The last day he went forward to receive Christ. He was the only one for that went forward in the three days of the campaign.

A pastor -
this man had been a detective and successful in ju-jitsu until he broke his back. He was in the hospital for a year and very depressed. A group came to his room and shared with him about Christ. When he got out he started going to Church and came to faith in Christ. After six months of prayer, his wife came to Christ also. She had miscarried and been told she would not be able to get pregnant and yet she did. They prayed throughout the whole pregnancy and have a healthy 10 year old son today.

A medical student -
Another student invited her to her church and she was ready to hear and receive Christ. She now mentors other new Believers from the medical school.

A pastors wife -
As a university student she was invited to a Campus Crusade Bible study and received Christ there.

One man received Christ as a result of the Jesus film and his ministry today is to take the Jesus film to different cities.

A couple planting a church in and unchurched city of 4,000 -
He came to Christ through a friend. She, a Muslim, resisted, but within a couple of years came to faith in Christ also. Their children are grown and one of their sons gave them a ping pong table that they use for outreach. It's set up in their home and they invite people over for tea and ping pong, and the gospel.

God is very creative and I loved hearing these stories. There are more that I'll share later in the week.

Faith and Doubts

"Faith during affliction matters more than the healing from affliction. Submitting to God's will is preferable to a rescue from crucifixion. Humility counts more than deliverance from a thorn in the flesh.
In the advanced school of prayer, where one loves God with the entire soul, doubts and struggles do not disappear, but their effect on us diminishes." Phillip Yancey

From and article by Madaline L'Engle:

In answer to a students request "Do you really and truly believe in God with no doubts at all?"

"Oh, I really and truly believe in god with all kinds of doubts."

The man whose son needed healing, "Lord I believe, help my unbelief."

Jesus in the garden, "Not my will but Thine be done."

What an incredible God we have. He understands our struggles and is glorified by our trust in Him in them. This Is amazing and awesome.

John 14:1 "Let not your heart be troubled, believe in God, believe also in me."

Lord I believe, help my unbelief.

Sin humbles us, and this is good.

Gary L Thomas is a humble and wise man. I recently found his book "Seeking the face of God" and am working through it. I would recommend it and so does J.I. Packer.
I am sharing here some quotes from his chapter, Holiness and the heart of God, in hopes that it might wet your appetite to read more.

"We must continually apply ourselves anew to loving God."

"Sin is nothing but self-abuse."

"... our passions, as any thoughtful Christian knows, are harder taskmasters than is our god of mercy and grace."

a quote form Fenelon: "..These imperfection's (sin and temptation)which remain in good souls serve to humble them from themselves, to make them feel their own weakness, to make them run more eagerly to thee."

Francis de Sales "Content not yourself with confessing your ... sins, merely as to the fact but accuse yourself of the motive that induced you to commit them."

I must ask myself the right questions to learn why I gave in to sin and to truly repent and turn from it.


"God's ability to use even rebellion for His benefit is one of the more profound realities of His sovereignty and Lordship."

A Quote

"The difference between happiness and joy is sorrow."

I don't know who said it but these are very wise words. Our Savior was an example of this.

Who Am I Listening To?

"When we live exclusivly out of the expectations thrust on us from without, rather than living from the truth emerging within, we become caught in the collective 'they'." Sue Monk Kidd

"I have bent and spindled my soul trying to become what I perceived others wanted or needed from me." Sue Monk Kidd

"With God we can become the co-author of our own life rather than allowing ourselves to be authored by others." Sam Keen


Whose expectations am I trying to live by? What does God's truth say to them? Where am I deciving myself? where am I not trusting God?

These are very hard questions, but so necessary. It is so easy to get caught up in what others expect of us, or what we think they expect of us. How freeing to just live as God has designed me to live. But how hard sometimes to sort these things out. I'm so grateful for His indwelling Spirit and His word to help me.

God is Good!

God is Good! We must place our faith in a God who has yet to fulfill the promise that good will overcome evil, that God's good purposes will, in the end, prevail. To cling to that belief may represent the ultimate rationalization-- or the ultimate act of faith. Phillip Yancy

I know that Christ defeated our enemy in the cross and resurrection, but I still see so much hurt and evil. In light of this I choose to believe the promise of Rom. 8:28 and 29. Sometimes it's very hard, but God is a God who keeps His promises. When going through a difficult time once, a friend said, "wont' it be interesting to see how Rom. 8:28-29 comes true in this situation." I appreciated her jolt back to reality for me and continue to remember her words.

A woman recently shared a testimony of a friend who was about to lose a long painful fight with cancer. Her friend, with feeble voice, said as boldly as she could: "I still believe that God is good." What a testimony. I think our enemy shuddered at her words. He hates it when God's people speak the truth of God's goodness, especially in difficult and painful circumstances.

I pray that I will always give testimony to the goodness of God, and not give in to my own pride and foolishness.

Great is the Lord and greatly to be praised.

Is God Enough?

"Me, Myself & Bob", A true story about dreams, God and talking vegetables.

This is on the cover of Phil Vischer's biography. He's the creator of VegeTales, and it's a very good book. He's an enjoyable writer and he has an important story to tell about who God is, as opposed to who he thought He was.

He grew up in the Bible Belt and came from a long line of church goers, with preachers in the midst. But he learned that the cliches he grew up with, and believed, were not who God really was and had nothing to do with how He deals with us.

His very public failure brought him to a crisis of faith, and from it grew a real faith in and understanding of God. He describes the loss of his business as a long tumble down stairs with God not even interested in helping Him. He learned there was a reason God allowed the tumble and was helping him, by letting him fall.

He learned that waiting on God is more important then being busy.

He makes a very wise statement at the end of the book.

"...beware of your dreams, for dreams make dangerous friends. We all have them--longings for a better life, a healthy child, a happy marriage, rewarding work. But dreams are, I have come to believe, misplaced longings. False lovers. Why? Because God is enough. Just God. ...the God who created the universe is enough for us--even without our dreams..."

He isn't saying to not dream, but to not let our dreams become our purpose for life.

God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him.

Where am I finding satisfaction?

Random thoughts

I am a random thinker and doer. It makes it a bit hard for my family at times, and Tim can't figure out how I can work with so much around me. Tim is organized and his workspace is so neat. I like that and would like mine to be too, but I don't seem to have the organization gene. I seem to have a need to have lots of fabric around, since I don't know which I will be working on, and I like to have several books on my "ottoman" and by my bed for reading. I must say, Tim and I are very different and he is very patient with the differences. I am thankful for his patience and acceptance of me. How nice for God to give me this man.

I haven't been on the computer much, I've been quilting :), among other things. I was going to put some pictures of them up, but it didn't work.

I am so enjoying nannying on Wednesdays. What a special blessing. Sydney is 10 months and a very happy little girl. She likes to cuddle, which is fine with me and read and play and she loves walks.

Last weekend was our women's retreat. We sang the following song, it reminded me of God's love and was so encouraging each time we sang it.

Amazed Jared Anderson

You dance over me
While I am unaware
You sing all around
But I never hear the sound

Chorus:
Lord I'm amazed
by You
Lord I'm amazed
by You
Lord I'm amazed
by You
How You love me

You paint the morning sky
With miracles in mind
My hope will always stand
For You hold me in Your hand

How wide
How deep
How great
Is Your love for me

©2004 Vertical Worship Songs All rights reserved. International copyright secured.CCLI song #4221021

Piper's quote "God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied with Him" has been on my mind a lot lately. I am realizing more what this means daily, in the midst of all of the frustrations, God is good and He and He alone can satisfy me. So why do I so often turn to other things? I know they will only bring temporary satisfaction, am I really that foolish, or just human. I am so thankful that God loves me as I am and is making me more like Him. It's comforting to know that I can do nothing to make myself pleasing to Him, He just loves me. Amazing!

Faith, an extravagant gift

I've been looking at John 12:1-11, the story of Mary anointing the feet of Jesus, and thinking about extravagant love and what would it look like today.
I think what I can offer as extravagant love is faith, and I know that it only comes from God. How appropriate to offer it back to Him as a gift of love.
I am presently reading "Violent Prayer" by Chris Teigreen, and came across a great quote:
"God expects human faith to fix its eyes on the reality behind the scenes and never let go. Never!"

Who's in Control?

It's hard for us to totally relinquish control in everything. I'm not a controller, and yet there are areas where I think I know what needs to be done and I have to continually remind myself to take my hands off and let God work. Madeleine L`Engle summed this up well:

"It is the most difficult think in the world for most of us to give up directing our own story and turn to the Author. This has to be done over and over again every day. Time and again I know exactly how a certain situation should be handled, and in no uncertain terms I tell God how to handle it. Then I stop, stock-still, and (sometimes with reluctance) end by saying, 'However, God, do it your way, Not my way, your way, Please.''

Whether I try to fix things or let God work and just join in what He is doing, shows my trust in Him.

"Lord, I believe, help my unbelief." And thank you for your unconditional love for me.

What do I Treasure?

"The demands of Jesus are only as hard to obey as His promises are hard to cherish and His presence is hard to treasure." John Piper, "What God Demands from the World"

I am in a Beth Moore study of Daniel now and am continually reminded of his choice of faithfulness to God under all circumstances. This has caused me to think about my choices. I don't face the things Daniel faced, and yet I do not have the faithfulness that he had. I am not under an other's authority, I can spend all the time I want with God, and am free to study and read my Bible whenever I want. So, why do I so often seek out other things?

The night Daniel spent in the lions den, Darius, spent awake and anxious. He refused his entertainment or food. I've never paid attention to that before and was amazed by it, and a little humbled. How often when I am overwhelmed with life or cares, do I turn on anything on the TV, or lose myself in computer games, or just read whatever is available. I know this shows the level of anxiety he was facing, but I still often choose to "sedate" myself with things around me rather than seek out God.

I think Piper's quote nailed it. What do I really cherish and treasure? I'd like to say it is God and Jesus, I do love them, but I'm not sure I cherish and treasure them.

Cherish - to treasure -- to have the highest regard for; to recognize the worth, quality, importance, or magnitude of; to hold dear.

I believe I have a lot to learn about what I treasure and cherish and pray for the Spirit to reveal to me why I often treasure and cherish myself more then my Lord.

Behind the lights....

When my kids were little we used to drive around and look at the Christmas lights. There was a cul-de-sac that my kids always loved where every house decorated with a theme, and it was pretty spectacular. I am friends now with some of the ladies in that cul-de-sac and have found out that behind those lovely displays, were some very hurting families. We look at the lights and ohhh and ahhhh and think everything must be fine in those homes.

Sometimes it's like that with us too. We try to look good so no one will know how frail we are in our humanity. Or we look at others and think they have it all together because they look so good.

When we were in Las Vegas once with some high school students, we were traveling through and stayed at a motel there, the kids were amazed at the lights of the city and some thought it was beautiful. One girl was so thoroughly enthralled that we were concerned we had made a mistake by going there. We took them to a buffet for dinner, a good cheap way to feed high school boys, and as we walked through the casino to get to the buffet, the kids saw behind the facade. As they watched people sitting pouring money into slot machines or at tables, they realized that it was not what it appeared and the girl who was so enthralled mentioned that it was just like evil. Sometimes it can look attractive and inviting, but it's just a ruse.

I'm sure it's the taking down of the Christmas tree and decorations that has put me in this reflective mood. But it is good to be reminded to look beyond the facade.

In John 7, Jesus tells us to "not judge according to appearance, but to judge with righteous judgment". I would like to be obedient to this statement and to look to the heart, not the outer appearance. If you ever see me being disobedient to this truth, please confront me on it.

I'm red-faced

I am embarrassed. I spellchecked the last post, but obviously didn't do it right. In reading through it I found many spelling errors. I was so proud :0 when I saw "no spelling errors found", and trusted the program, obviously erroneously. I'm sure the problem was user related, not in the program. So I humbly appologise to you for the mistakes and promise to figure out what I did wrong before the next post.

To Love God above all else

John Piper is a favorite writer of mine and he has a new book. It's "What Jesus Demans from the World".
He starts with the basics, being born again, repentence, coming to and believing in Christ, abiding (a great chapter) and builds from there on what it means to follow Christ.
I just read his chapter on Loving God with all your hear, soul, mind and strength, and it is great.

It seems appropriate to come across this chapter as I am reading a book about Rees Howell, an man who lived from the late 1800's to the mid 1900's and had an amazing relationship with God. He truly sought to die to self and sacrificed greatly for his Lord, and was greatly blessed for his sacrifice. This book has caused much controversy I'm told, by people who read it and think that they hear God and start pushing their agenda's as being God's. they have obviously missed the heart of this man, he was used by God because of his great sacrifice to self. I'm not sure he had a corect view of the filling of the Spirit, but he did understand submitting to the Spirit in a way I don't see today. I think the main thing I have carried away from this book is to continue to evailuate whether I am seeking to please and obey God more than I am seeking to please and obey man. Am I more concerned about what others think of me than of what God thinks of me?
Am I truly seeking what God wants, or am I just paying lip service to that and seeking what I want?

Some of the statements from Piper are very good and give much to think on.

"If love does not come from knowing God, there is no point in calling it love for God. there may be some vague attraction in our heart or some unfocused gratitude in our souls, but if they do not arise from knowing God, they are not love for God."

the opposite of love is hate, despise. "These are strong emotional words. They imply that the positvie counterpart is also a strong emotion. So loving God is a strong inward emotion, not a mere outward action."

In relation to loving God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength:

"... the point is that every faculty and capasicy that we have sould display at every moment that God is our supreme treasure."

If one of our human capacities finds pleasuer in anyone or anything in such a way that this pleasure is not also a delight in God, then we have not loved God with all that capacity"

This quote sums up Piper's goal for life for himself and all Believers:

"In all my rejoicing over all the good things that God has made, God himself is the heart of my joy, the gladness of my joy, In all my rejoicing in everything, there is a central rejoicing in God."

and finally he quotes Augustine:

"He loves thee too little who loves anything together with Thee, which he loves not for thy sake."

I had to read this a few times, but have found it a good statement to think and meditate on. What does it mean to love for his sake, or not for his sake? What do I love apart from God? Where do I find joy apart from God?