Who am I following?

More from "the Bravehearted Gospel"

They call us Christians; and all that really means is that we are supposed to follow Christ.
The question is...are we? pg. 97

He goes on the say that the more beautiful and stunning we are to this world the more disagreeable we are in the eyes of Heaven,or, the more lovely we are to heaven, the more disagreeable we will be in the eyes of the world.

I wonder sometimes which set of eyes I am seeking to please.

Braveheartedness

I am being challenged by Eric Ludy in his book "The Bravehearted Gospel."

On page 100 he says,
"For instance, the gospel has been reduced to a message merely about forgiveness while the idea of regeneration and transformation seems almost totally forgotten.

Grace has become simple a gigantic hug from God and is no longer the muscle of God brought to earth to aid the weakness of men and to give them strength.

Faith has morphed into this bizarre idea of "honest doubt" and has lost its essence of rock-solid unwavering confidence in the ability of God to perform that which He promises.

He speaks of our need to remember that we are called to live for Christ and to should be fighting for the truth of the Gospel. I was reminded of a little friend of mine, Sydney, one day while wearing one of her many princess dresses, she picked up her play sword and said "I'm a princess fighter!" I think this is who we, well at least the female of us, should remember that we are.

Grace

I picked up a new book at the library recently, not sure what I'd think of it, and found I really enjoyed it.
It's called "Finding Grace, a Memoir" by Donna VanLiere.
She was molested before she started Kindergarten and never told anyone until she married. She couldn't understand why God didn't protect her and felt shame over it. The story is of her discovery of God's grace through her life and realizing that we can't earn and don't deserve His grace, it's a free gift from Him.

Some things I found thought provoking or encouraging were:

"God sometimes does His work with gentle drizzle, not storms." Spoken by John Newton in the film Amazing Grace.

God was busy carving out and arranging things in my life but I was too frustrated to detect any of His work. pg. 69

I was exhausted from roaming the desert ... and each day I opened the Bible with a heated attitude that said, "Show me something." pg. 91
A quote on the same page from Charles Dickens said, "Nothing is discovered without God's intention and assistance."

On page 92 she realizes that she was looking for the "Cliff Notes" version of Faith and that just won't work. She talked about Jacob's wrestling match and gives a very descriptive image of what it must have been like. I'd never visualized it quite so realistically before.

The emptiness says: Come to me. I'll never betray you. I know you by name. I know the plans I have for you. I ignored that restlessness, and unconvinced that God really did have a purpose for me, I continued to drive my own plan. After all, isn't that easier and more manageable than discerning the mystery of the soul? pg. 115

At some point we throw up our hands but then what? It seems that we either continue to fight and wrestle, or we relinquish the plan as we've always known it in order to discover the Creator's dream for our life. When we admit our helplessness in driving our own dream and acknowledge God's divine power and goodness, we open the door to grace. pg. 120

"The great act of faith is when man decides that he is not God." Supreme Court justice Oliver Wendell Holmes.

In the disappointment and frustration of infertility I was beginning to comprehend a God that shattered my childish perceptions. pg. 135

...I wonder why we deny ourselves the grace of God? For the first time in years I began to doubt my thirty-plus years of self-made reasoning. pg. 142

Lessons in the Struggle

I recently read Losing God by Matt Rogers. It is a book about his four year struggle with depression and he did a good job of sharing the reality of the struggle. Having recently spent so much time in Romans I found it interesting that much of his struggle was with Romans nine and the doctrine of predestination. He found some good friends who came along side of him in the struggle and he is now a pastor with a very real understanding of the struggles of his people.

He shared a couple of pretty profound thoughts:

"...one of the most important lessons of the dark night, that peace with God, as with love for Him, is more than a feeling...it is a condition that we who have believed find ourselves in: the war is over."

"Emotions are a gift, but I learned in the dark night that we must be careful of the conclusions we let them draw for us."

"You have no idea five or ten years down the road how you will view the circumstances you are under right now. Hang in there! Do not give up. god is able to walk you through the darkness, and He is worth going through it."

and he included a great quote from Tozer on the mystery of election:

"God will not hold us responsible to understand the mysteries of election, predestination and the divine sovereignty. the best and safest way to deal with these truths is to raise our eyes to God and in deepest reverence say, 'O Lord, Thou knowest.' Those things belong to the deep and mysterious profound of God's omniscience. Prying into them may make theologians, but it will never make saints.

My Beloved

Today, in my reading through the Bible, I came to the Song of Solomon. I know there is controversy about this book--is it picturing an actual love relationship between a man and woman or is it a picture of God's love for us. I think it's both and has much to teach us about both. It is a wonderful picture of love. Today I read it as a picture of God's love for me and was so blessed.

"I am my Beloved's and He is mine." What a wonderful encouragement this is. he loves me/us with an intensity that I can't relate to, I can just be in awe of it. He thinks of me as beautiful, because of what Christ did for me at the cross. Me, beautiful! Amazing!

And the picture of my beloved is awesome.

My reading in the New Testament was Jude today and how encouraging the final verses of that little book were, in light of the picture of His love.

Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling,
and to make you stand in His presence of His glory blameless with great joy,
to the only God our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord,
be glory, Majesty, dominion, and authority
before all time, and now, and forever.

Amen and Amen.

Oh how I long for the day when we will be presented to Jesus as His beloved bride.

Even so come Lord Jesus!

My Hero

I recently attended a "celebration of life" for my dad who died in August. I knew that it would be a bit awkward as I would be meeting many people who had my dad involved in their lives for the 25 years that he chose to not be involved with my brother, sister, and me. It was hard to hear of what a wonderful grandpa he was and not grieve over the fact that he wasn't that grandpa to my kids. It was a reminder of all of the special events of my life that he chose to not be part of.

He was described as their "hero." Can a hero be so good and so bad at the same time? In reality isn't that all of us? He had been my hero as a small child, I was a daddy's girl. But that changed when I turned 13 and he walked out of my life. I had to face the reality then that he didn't love me as I thought he had and it was a hard reality. The last 22 years he has been part of my life again and I am very thankful for that. I have gotten to know who he really was. He was a man who did the best that he was able to do with how he was prepared for life.

God drew me to Himself that year and became my Father and Mother and I am so grateful for that. He is and will always truly be my hero. He promised to never leave me or forsake me, that I have an eternal home with Him, life as He designed it. His Son willingly set aside His glory and took on flesh to reveal God, the Father, to us and to die to free us from our slavery to our sin, and He rose again in victory. He chose this sacrifice out of His great love and justice.

This is what a true hero is and why only Jesus can fit the discription. Men will fail us, they will leave us but God never will and He proved it at the cross.

Who is your hero? Who do you look up to? I pray that it will be Jesus, my Savior. If you haven't read the book of John lately I'd encourage you to read it. I guarentee that you will be encouraged and humbled.

Crazy Thinking

Edward Welch in When People are Big and God is Small says that when our interpretation of our past takes precedence over God's interpretation of it we are open to crazy thoughts that lead to sinful actions.

I don't think this applies only to our past. How often am I responding to my interpretation of my present instead of seeking God's interpretation of it? Am I looking for what He is doing and how He sees things, or just trying to make life work?

Am I standing on Christ, the mighty rock, or the other ground that is really sinking sand?

Blessing

I recently read "The Truth Comes Out" the story of my hearts transformation, but Nancy Heche. It's a well written and thought provoking book that will make you look at the way you see others, and even see our own self-righteousness, ugly as it is.

She came to a wonderful understanding of what it means to bless others after reading Acts 3:26
God, having raised up His servant (Jesus), sent Him to you first, to bless you by turning every one of you from your wickedness.

Upon looking up the meaning of "to bless," she found this definition:
To ask God to interfere, to take action in ones life to bring them to the desired relationship with Him so that they are fully satisfied.

This blessing became a small obsession with her, and I am praying that it will be with me also. What a difference it would make in our relationships if we chose to bless in this way those we love and those we have less than love for.

Imprisoned in Iran

How would I respond to being imprisoned without knowing why? With being verbally and physically abused and left in a cell by myself, still without knowing why? This is so foreign to us in America. We have rights after all. This couldn't happen here. But in another country our rights mean nothing. Dan Baumann found this out in January 1997.

He and a South African friend were living Turkmenistan and, with YWAM, working with the Turkman people. They had prayed about an opportunity to go into Iran and connect with the Trukman people there, some of them being believers, and see how they could help them and work with them. the Lord opened the doors and gave them some good contacts so they left for a two week "checking it out" trip.

Dan had duel citizenship with the US and Switzerland and always traveled with his Swiss passport in that area, since they weren't too fond of Americans.

As they were leaving the country they ran the Iranian officials confiscated their passports and told them they would have to go to Tehran to recover them. They took someone from the South Africa Embassy with them to recover the passports, however the embassy representative had to return to the embassy and the Iranians interrogated and arrested them.

Most of the book is about his experience in prison. He is very honest about his frustration, anger, fear, lack of faith, despair and of God's faithfulness and grace to him.

This book will remind us that God is in control, even when we don't get it, and that His plan is much bigger than we can ever imagine. He experienced comfort, peace, and encouragement when these things didn't seem possible. He saw how he was used by God as the waterer of seeds that had been planted 20 years before by Christians imprisoned during the overthrow of the government of the Shaw. He heard one of the guards telling the other guards the truth of the gospel that he had heard and witnessed from those prisoners and was now seeing in "this American."

This book blessed and encouraged me. I think it had more impact because it was someone from "my world" (he even grew up in So. Cal like I did) facing things that we think we will never face
and seeing a faithful and mighty God in action.

Soul Connection

A friend recently gave me Gordon MacDonald's book, "The Life God Blesses." I haven't read much of his work, I always thought he wrote mostly to pastors and church leaders, but I am enjoying this book. He is an honest, wise and godly man.
He shares some reflections from Bertrand Russell as his wife was dying and I find the thoughts lingering in my mind.

"... the sense of the solitude of each human soul suddenly overwhelmed me...the loneliness of the human soul is unendurable; nothing can penetrate it except the highest intensity of the sort of love that religious teachers have preached; whatever does not spring from this motive is harmful, or at best useless...in human relations one should penetrate to the core of loneliness in each person and speak to that."

What a difference it would make in our lives and relationships if we related to others like this.

I had breakfast with a friend recently and she started out by asking me how I was doing. Not with the usual casualness associated with this question. I could tell she wanted to know how I was truly doing. I felt encouraged by her interest and humbled by how often I get together just to talk and don't take time to see how my friend is truly doing.

Since God, the highest intensity of love available, has poured out His love in my heart, through the Holy Spirit I have this love to offer others, and yet so often just don't.

I pray that this truth will change me and the way I relate to all that I come in contact with.

Ann Judson of Burma

I recently read this book and am encouraged and humbled by this woman. This isn't a page turner kind of book, it's not "exciting," however it gives an amazing picture of a couple, from the woman's perspective mostly, who truly gave all to go to an unknown country and take the gospel.
They were among a small group of missionaries who were the first to be sent out from America. They left knowing that they would most likely never return. Adoniram's letter to Ann's father, asking for her hand asked if he'd be willing to:

"...consent to part with his daughter... to see her no more in this world;whether you can consent to her departure for a heathen land, and her subjection to the hardships of sufferings of a missionary life...the fatal influence of the southern climate of India, to every kind of want and distress, to degradation, insult, persecution, and perhaps a violent death..."

Most of these things came true in her life, however, she did see her homeland once in response to serious illness and the need of complete rest. Her love for God, her husband, and the people God had called them to serve is so evident that it can't help but humble us.

The book is Ann Judson of Burma by Sharon James.

God's Holy Zeal!

Tozer says of God, "He pursues His labors always in a fullness of holy zeal."

What a picture of God. As I thought on it I realized that I often picture God as I would picture myself when I am multitasking. I am busy trying to get everything done and usually a bit distracted, not zealous. I tend to get a bit stressed too. But God isn't like that. He is the ultimate "multitakser" and it doesn't faze Him. He knows what is going on everywhere and is working out His will in everything with a holy zeal. No distraction, stress, concern--just zeal.

I looked up zeal and it is: passionate devotion to or interest in a cause or subject.

How wonderful to picture God at work this way in our world and in our lives. How different it might make my life if I continualy live with this awareness of God.

With praise to our holy, loving and passionate Father. Amen.

Crazy Love

I'm reading a book by Francis Chen called Crazy Love. It is challenging, good, and convicting, and I am enjoying it.

In the second chapter he talks about stress and worry and says:

"Basically these two behaviors communicate that it's ok to sin and not trust God because the stuff in my life is somehow exceptional. Both worry and stress reek of arrogance. They declare our tendency to forget that we've been forgiven, that our lives here are brief, that we are headed to a place where we won't be lonely, afraid, or hurt ever again, and that in the context of God's strength, our problems are small, indeed.
Why are we so quick to forget God? Who do we think we are?"

A little later in the chapter he says, "Frankly, we need to get over ourselves."

I would encourage you to read this book and go to www.crazylovebook.com and look at the awe factor video.

We have an awesome God!!

Anticipation

I am going through a book by Tricia McCary Rhodes that is about meditating on the Names of Jesus. I just read about Jesus, our Bridegroom, and was struck by how little I anticipate the wedding feast spoken of in the NT.

Wedding's in the NT times weren't the big ordeals they are now, they didn't have the stress or activity that we see now. During the betrothal period the groom prepared the home for he and his bride and when all was ready he came for the wedding. The bride spent the time preparing and making things ready for for when he came for her. It was a time of great anticipation and joy. Something we can't really relate to today. She didn't always know when he would come, so she had to be ready at all times.

I realize that I don't live with that joyful anticipation of His return for me. I know He's coming, but I am so distracted with the "daily's" of life that I don't anticipate His return. I would like to start living with a joyful anticipation of this. I'm sure it will effect how I live daily and how I deal with the reality of living in this broken world.

Even so come Lord Jesus, my Bridegroom!

We Are Sisters

I just finished a book called “Daughters of Hope,” by Kay Marshall Strom and Michele Rickett. It was written by two women who traveled around the world to talk to women who have suffered for their faith. The stories are amazing and in their concluding section they shared an interaction that they had with some women in India who was asking about America.

Their questions were:
Do you ever go to bed hungry because you’re a Christian?
Did you ever have your house taken away?
Did you ever lose a job because you were a Christian?
Do people throw rocks at you?
Has anyone ever thrown you in the fire?

Her answer was always no and then she explained that those things don’t happen in America because it’s against the law.

“The women stared uncomprehendingly. Then one said, ‘but if it doesn’t cost you anything, how do you in America know what it means to be a Christian.’ As I was thinking about the answer, the first woman asked, ‘If you in America did have to suffer, would you still be Christians.’”

They mentioned to them that many would not, and those who do love the Lord pray for the faith to stand faithful to Him in all things. And the women then solemnly promised to pray for us in America.

How wonderful and amazing that they are praying for us.

I'd encourage you to get this book and check out the website SistersInService.org

The Shack

I read it recently and didn't expect to enjoy it. I'd read several reviews of the false doctrine in it and was ready to condemn it. I will say that he does have some unique and I believe un-Biblical teaching and if you are going to get your doctrine from a novel don't read this book.

However, he does a good job of dealing with some of the misconceptions people have about God and the Trinity.
He makes it clear that the Trinity is complete and joyful within itself and does not need us.

He brings out:
- man's obvious and sometimes subtle idea of earning relationship with God, and makes it clear that that just doesn't work
- man's arrogance, and foolishness, in thinking he understands and can judge God
- that God, the Father, is love, not just Jesus

A few quotes that I particularly liked:

Mack -"I sort of feel obliged to go in and talk to Him..."
Jesus - "...don't go because you feel obligated. ...Go because it's what you want to do."

Sophia (Wisdom) - ...He chose the way of the cross where mercy triumphs over justice because of love. Would you instead prefer He'd chosen justice for everyone? Do you want justice 'Dear Judge'?"

One of my favorites, which I can't find to quote, is when Mack said that he just didn't see how anything could justify the evil done to his child and "Papa" responded that we aren't about justifying what happens, but about being redemptive.

and the final quote that I will share is:

" Mack, just because I work incredible good out of unspeakable tragedies doesn't mean I orchestrate the tragedies. Don't ever assume that my using something means that I caused it or that I need it to accomplish my purposes. That will only lead you to false notions about me. Grace doesn't depend on suffering to exist, but where there is suffering you will find grace in many facets and colors."

So get your doctrine and theology from the Bible, and if you want a book that does a pretty good job of depicting a God we can relate to, and be challenged by. Read this book. I will add that I would skip the chapter "Festival of Friends." I'm not sure what that was all about.

Jesus in Beijing

I found this book at one of my favorite places, Half Price Books. It's the third book I've read in the last few years on the Church in China and I am exciting about what God is doing. the Heavenly Man has become a popular book but "Back To Jerusalem" is one I would recommend also.
China seemed so lost to me as I was growing in the faith. No outside contact, no missionaries, so Communist. But now we are learning about the Church in China and it is a great testimony of the grace of our wonderful God. We in the West should be humbled by the faith, endurance, and boldness of this Church.
It's so easy to become focused on ourselves and what our world looks like. I am so thankful to be able to hear about the wonders of what God is doing throughout our world.
Praise to our God, the Alpha and Omega!

Therefore...

John Piper, in a sermon on June 6, 2004,talks about our needing to live a "therefore" life. We need to live according to the truths of who we are in Christ. Instead of asking "What's wrong?" about something we should be asking how does that fit with who I am in Christ. What a great perspective.

"When Paul says, 'I appeal to you therefore, brothers . . .' he is saying: The life I am calling you to live (in Romans 12-16) is built on something. It doesn’t come out of nowhere. It has roots. It has a foundation. Christian living has roots. It has foundation. It has causes and grounds and reasons. And that is no small thing!
For the next five chapters Paul will call us to live a certain way as Christians. And with this word 'therefore' he is saying: The foundation we build our lives on is the foundation laid in Romans 1-11. Paul is turning now from doctrine to practice. He is turning from theology to ethics. From what is true about God and Christ and salvation to what we should do—what we therefore should do because of Romans 1-11. Because of all the truth about God and sin and Christ and the cross and the Spirit and faith and justification—because of all that we have seen in Romans 1-11, therefore we are to build our practical lives on this. Paul moves from foundation to application with the word “therefore.” Christian acting and feeling and speaking are not rootless. They have foundation. They are built on something. Paul spent 11 chapters, and we spent six years, laying the foundation for the building of Romans 12-16. If we miss this connection, we miss everything."

Foolishness and Wisdom

Today as I read in Numbers, Proverbs, and Matthew, they interestingly played off each other. In Numbers I read that the "rabble" were complaining about the good things they had to eat in Egypt. They were tired of manna.

In Matthew, the Pharisees were trying, again, to trick Jesus into saying something they could arrest him for, but of course He didn't. He was much to wise for them. And they, as usual, were more interested in protecting their position and image than paying attention to who this was.

In Proverbs 19:8 it says that "he who gets wisdom loves his own soul."

I find it interesting that I had examples in both testaments of men who were to foolish to love their own souls. Instead they chose to seek outward comfort.

How often do I do that? I am too often content with comfort instead of loving my soul enough to feed it with the wisdom that will truly satisfy it. It reminds me of C.S. Lewis' quote about making mud pies in the slum instead of enjoying a vacation on the seashore. We are too easily amused.

Oh, how I pray that God will not allow me to settle for comfort instead of nourishing my soul.

Our Journey

I'm listening to John Piper's sermons on Romans as I work on the study of Romans that I am writing, and came across this encouragement from a sermon preached on 4/21/02:

Picture this life as a journey on your way to receive a spectacular inheritance. It will protect you from idolatry and make all your burdens lighter, and quiet all your murmurings.

Here's the way John Newton put it:
Suppose a man was going to New York to take possession of a large estate, and his carriage should break down a mile before he got to the city, which obliged him to walk the rest of the way; what a fool we should think him, if we saw him ringing his hands, and blubbering out all the remaining mile, "My carriage is broken! My carriage is broken!" (Richard Cecil, Memoirs of the Rev. John Newton, in The Works of the Rev. John Newton, Vol. 1 (Edinburgh: The Banner of Truth Trust, 1985), p. 108.)