What do I live for?

I find it interesting how often when I am reading several books, where I am in the books seem to coincide with what God is teaching me. Presently, God is getting my attention about how aware, or unaware, I am of Him thoughout my day.
Larry Crabb's new book "The PAPA Prayer" has you focus on where you are at the moment you are talking to Him. What are you feeling, thinking, focusing on, etc and then how does this relate to you and God. Who is He to you right now.
Sometimes it's hard to be honest about this. How do I really feel, what's in my heart, not what do I want to be in my heart or do I want others to think is in my heart?
And what do I really believe about God? Is He truly good and trustworthy? Am I trying to make life work apart from Him?
My SS school class is in John 5 and John 5:40 "But you were unwilling to come to Me, that you may have life" is the verse I picked as our verse for the week. These ladies are not like the self righteous Pharasees, they have come to Christ for life, as I have. However, we still make choices to seek life in ways apart from Him and we need to be aware of this and repent of it in order to enjoy the life He has for us.
A professor made a statement I will never forget. "We have all figured out a way to make life work and that feels like life to us. To give it up would feel like death, and yet that is the thing we have to give up in order to truly have life."
Sometimes this thing is the focus of our whole life, sometimes it is something small that seems unimportant, but it is very important.
I am amazed that God desires relationship with me and is willing to put up with my foolishness and continues to reveal truth to me and to woo me to Himself :)